When you commit to knowing yourself, the unguarded moments will arrive fast and often.
The unguarded moment each new dawn that you wake alone knowing a love so deep that it rushes into your brave heart like a tsunami, and all at once, you are tumbled and battered and left gasping and bruised in its wake. Still, somehow, at the same time, you are the hydrogen in the pounding waves, and you are the oxygen that burns your lungs, and you are entirely sustained by being broken apart.
The unguarded moment walking the dog, when out of nowhere, loss shakes your bones so sharply that you flinch and sway like a sapling, hoping to lay down roots fast enough to hold you steady before you fall over for good.
The unguarded moment shampooing your hair, when suddenly you are sobbing, your face pressed hard against the cool tiles, letting the warm water cleanse your skin and soothe your soul.
The unguarded moment of your kids saying I love you as they jump out of the car and head into their day of becoming all that you hope for them, and as you drive away, you swell with such powerful joy that you feel as if the roof might blow off and fly into the sun.
The unguarded moment sitting at your desk when all the karmic self-doubt of the universe seems to have landed on your shoulders and everything feels hopeless and f>cked, and you have to fight against the fear that wants to seduce you with its insipid whispers, and you grasp at every tattered thread of self-belief you have until you have collected enough handfuls to weave a silver-lined cloak which you wrap tightly around yourself, and there you hide awhile, weathering the illusions until they pass.
The unguarded moment at the beach when you watch a seagull with wings spread wide, flashing bright against the sky and no matter what the weather, you are that tenacious bird, and you are soaring higher and lighter than you can even begin to imagine possible.
The unguarded moment of every hard decision is when you willingly let go of the edge and step into the abyss, knowing that the fall will shed each false thing that isn’t you with its beautiful and unrelenting velocity.
The unguarded moment when you pray with extreme gratitude to the universe that is your church and the light that is your god, and you are exploded and expanded and exploded again until you are no more. And for a nanosecond of a nanosecond, you understand how perfect it all is.
Then one day, you realise all the separate unguarded moments have merged into one, and you are living an unguarded life within each breath of your bounded humanness.