Love’s first Valentines crush was at age seven. She left an anonymous note in a boy’s locker even though he already had a girlfriend. She’d recently seen her dad kissing her mum’s best friend in the kitchen, so she figured it was alright to test those kind of boundaries. Love didn’t know it then, but that was the start of falling again and again for a certain kind of man.
Love left several locker notes over the following weeks, but she’s not sure if the boy ever figured out it was her. Maybe his girlfriend picked up a vibe because she began to bully Love that year, calling her names and offering the occasional shove. She was that beautiful popular girl that ruled the school. Like Love never told the boy she liked him, she never talked about the bullying either. That was the start of Love learning to hide in plain sight while barely okay.
Hiding like she watched her mother do when Love told her what she’d seen in the kitchen. Her mum laughed it off as being normal for close friends to hug. But Love saw through the lie as her mum turned away. Love’s entire world trembled and titled, and she knew then that she was different. She saw that there were no boundaries to her feelings at all and no limit to how much she understood the hearts of others.
Love stuffed her feelings into a box and tucked it under her ribs at the back of her heart. That was the start of Love learning to feel guilty for things that were not her fault. Of making it normal to survive inside a lie. When Love stopped being a child.
Love is older now and has seen a thing or two more. She learned long ago how to look after her heart. She discovered that feelings rot when left in the dark and trapped in a box, so she let them out to play and made them her friends. Often, she feels as ancient as time. Sometimes as innocent as a newborn lamb.
This year, Love will be her favourite Valentine. She’ll write herself a love note and leave it next to her cup of tea. She’ll sip it in her rose garden on a worn wooden seat. She’ll hold her hands in her lap and admire their strength. She’ll walk by the ocean and be caressed by the wind.
There are no boundaries to her feelings, the tears that she sheds, how she experiences beauty, the dreams in her heart, her potential for happiness, or how much she understands. There are no boundaries to Love at all, and that’s okay because Love thrives everywhere.