In this post, I’m going to explain how my writing process sometimes goes. With the story below, the trigger was a feeling of being so frustrated and at the effect of time. I needed time to do what I wanted when I wanted, and that wasn’t happening!! There was a whole lot of tantrums and foot-stomping going on inside my head.
Meanwhile, my inner writer was noticing this and being curious about what that was about for me.
A few days later, I was listening to a favourite song which has the lyrics’ time isn’t on my side’. Suddenly I heard it differently. Instead of the lovely heartfelt lament of that line, I became aware of the victim position of that phrase. Quickly followed by a conscious choice not to have that belief anymore and shed the heaviness of the feeling in my body that happens when I believe that time isn’t on my side.
Instead, I felt into the possibility that time IS always on my side. I liked the power of that feeling in my body. I scribbled it on a sticky note and left it next to my computer screen.
I could feel a story forming like a kernel in my heart, and I gave it space to germinate until I found a quiet moment to journal at the end of the day. I started by writing down ‘Time is always on my side’. In my mind, I was going to write about my relationship with time, but then I heard the story’s first sentence drop in gently, like a murmur and a caress:
‘Time lays beside me naked.’ Okay…. that’s different… said my inner writer.
The important thing for me is that I stay curious, don’t judge the process, and trust that my pen knows what to do. I keep it moving as the words rush in messily and I trust my ability to find nuances as I go.
Next, I let the words sit and grow roots and sprout leaves. Sometimes a story will sit for a few days or weeks, and I might add more to it. Sometimes it will only need a few hours.
Then I’ll type it up and allow any more words to flow. I will feel the story widen into a trunk and form branches, and stretch to the sky as it deepens into the earth. Finally, I step back with my editor’s clippers and see where it needs pruning.
Once I post or publish, it’s no longer mine. It belongs to all of you. You nestle in its branches, taste its fruit, shelter in its shade, lean against its trunk, take whatever you need and fly off again. I am simply grateful that you dropped by.
***
Time is on my side
Time lay next to me, naked and relaxed. We lit candles and talked for hours about our childhoods, hopes and fears while his luminous eyes eroded my walls and softened my soul. I plaited my hair while he watched, making no effort to move.
The moon passed from east to west, and the first rays of dawn stroked the darkness with iridescent fingers. We drifted asleep to the melody of morning birdsong, heads nestled close, fingers intertwined. We slept through lunch and awoke hungry and eager, letting the rhythm of each breath set our pace.
By nightfall, Time had slipped away. I relaxed into the void between our souls and invited the sweet longing of his absence to infuse each breath with tender joy as if we breathed with one set of lungs. I invited the missing of him to spread across my skin, course through my veins and become my heartbeat. Until I became alive with his essence, and as if every step I took was within his footprint and his in mine.
On the field of destiny, Time is my coach, referee, and number one fan. No matter where he is, I know he is the first to jump for joy when I win, the first to stop the clock when I’m hurt.
When I fear that Time has forgotten me, I close my eyes and look through his. I feel our fingers intertwine. I tune into my heart and trust that Time is forever on my side, and all is as it needs to be.
I am Time’s deepest expression, the reason he loves this game called life.
Without me, Time is aimless.
Without Time I am passionless.
Together we are an unstoppable force.